Category: MASTERY

YOU, TOO, CAN CHANGE BIG TIME

Last week we talked about small changes.  Now it’s time to talk about BIG, MAJOR CHANGES.  This means changing careers, partners, life style, friends, or just about any scarey, major decision that you are facing.

Everyone who has lived any kind of life has had to face a major change.  Remember how afraid you were to go from grammar school to middle school? then to high school?  We faced each change with some degree of dread and excitement. Now that we are all grown up we would like to face change with more excitement than dread when a change is in order.  But how do we do that?

Well, I certainly don’t have all the answers, but a great part of my job as a coach is to ease lawyers through major changes in their careers and lives.  For instance, one of the most dramatic shifts come when the lawyer has found that they are not practicing the kind of law that makes him or her happy and contented.  It is even harder to face this kind of change when the wrong area of law for that attorney is making good money.

Someone who doesn’t like to speak in public or go to court should not be a trial lawyer.  An attorney that hates detail should not try to fit themselves into tax law or even wills and probate.  So how does the attorney find out about what would need to change to make them more content?

*Taking the Myers-Briggs Temperament tests can tell someone a lot about what is their natural inclination towards the type of work that would make them happy.

  • Or the attorney can look very closely at what classes in law school they loved and what they hated.
  • Taking a close inventory of the present practice can lead to ideas how it might be changed to better suit the attorney.
  • Visualizing is a great technique for this kind of change.  The lawyer can cook up a scene of exactly what he or she would like to be doing every day and see if any other area of law fits this.

Then comes the BIG DECISION. The question becomes how to go about making this change.  Careful planning and marshaling the resources is the next step.

This is only one Big Change that an attorney might encounter.  How about when he or she needs to change their life style?  What is drugs and alcohol are draining his or her energy and creating a life that is not what they imagined.  This is where a great support group of friends can be helpful.  What, then, will make certain that this BIG CHANGE can happen?

LET’S TALK ABOUT THAT NEXT WEEK…..CAN YOU THINK OF ANY AREA THAT YOU NEED TO MAKE A BIG CHANGE.  IF SO, SHARE IT OR AT LEAST, WRITE IT DOWN.  WHO KNOWS, YOU MIGHT JUST MAKE THAT DECISION TO CHANGE!

LET’S GO BACK TO KINDNESS

I was watching a PBS show on “The Royals” and one of the surprising insights they talked about was the fact that the Royal Family is and was taught how to be interested in each person they spoke with.  This created good feelings in the people and interest in the Royal Family as a whole.

That struck me as a sort of Kindness that the Royal Family found to bring about great results since their reputation is based on how well they are thought of by the people of the United Kingdom (including Scotland!).   All it takes apparently is to listen intently and respond appropriately  one on one to the schoolchild, farmer, blue collar worker or the banker to bring about good feelings.  The Royals are then acting with Kindness which has been inbred.  What an interesting concept!

How can this knowledge help attorneys in their daily lives?

  • This is so simple that attorneys can start doing it immediately
  • It takes no special instruction or long study program to implement it.
  • Showing interest and responding appropriately to everyone the attorney comes in contact with, might will change the person’s view and liking for the attorney.
  • This is an easy way of spreading Kindness on a daily basis.
  • These acts will model a new behavior and hopefully spread the action to other contacts in both of your lives.

We have been talking a lot about Confidence also.  Wouldn’t your confidence be raised by the fact that you were being accepted and appreciated by many more people?  I think so.

So your assignment for this week is to engage a stranger and act like a Royal.  Make a comment about the surroundings or about them and then listen to what they respond.  Be interested in them and what they say.  Finish by showing that you listen to what they said and liked them.

If you are too chicken to do this with a stranger, pick someone who you don’t regularly take an interest in and show them the courtesy and Kindness of engaging them in conversation.  In some manner show that you like them for just who they are and what they have to say…….

WE CAN LEARN A LOT FROM THE ROYALS IF WE WOULD ONLY FOLLOW THIS ONE RULE!

FROM GRIT AND RESILIENCY COMES MASTERY

OK, so just what is Mastery?  Some would tell us that Mastery is facing up to adversity and overcoming obstacles to reach a deep understanding of what you are doing.  But it takes Grit and Resiliency to do this.  Let’s talk a little about Grit.  Its something more than resiliency because it is in the here and now.  It is what it takes to keep going when it doesn’t seem worth it.  It is deciding what you want.  It is having the “guts” to just do it.

Grit requires that you don’t buy into the “carrot and stick” approach but are willing to, not only decide what that you will do something, but then to do it, no matter how hard it is.

Always ask yourself “How can I be better?” will give you the platform to start but grit and resiliency will be necessary to plan the goals and complete them.

So how do you get grit in your life and really master what you are doing?

  • First you acknowledge that grit is necessary to do anything worthwhile.
  • Next you calculate how much grit you have right now for getting things done.
  • After that you take a small task that you don’t really want to do.
  • You practice your grit until that task is completed.
  • You never stop. You intensely focus on the outcome.
  • Usually the bigger the step or task, the more grit you need.
  • Decide what you will do to renew your grit as it gets drained before that happens

With excelling in Grit, You will create Mastery in whatever you decide to do.  So today, pick out one thing in your life that will take some Grit to accomplish.  It may be cleaning out your office or leaning a new language or developing a new marketing plan.  If any of these sound like they are just too big, too boring or too scarey, start immediately on that one and really test your grit.

THAT’S YOUR CHALLENGE FOR THE WEEK.